More often than I care to admit, I think about hitting the delete button on Those Graces. Sometimes I feel so different from the girl who started this all one summer day four years ago. Up until now, I’ve always felt that I’ve grown with my blog and not against it, but lately I’ve been feeling so detached from this place. Maybe it has something to do with throwing myself into new things. Maybe it has to do with my life changing. This isn’t a how to post. I can’t give you any answers because I don’t have them myself. All I know is not quitting is a lot harder than quitting. So I’m staying because I’m curious where this will all go.
It’s pretty rare that you see someone blogging for six or more years. Of the blogs I read regularly, I can think of one or two people who have been blogging that long. Not everyone who’s been blogging for that many years has a book deal or hundreds of thousands of Twitter followers. Some of them are just everyday people who decided not to quit, and I’d like to think that the web is a better place for the longevity of their blogs.
I do wonder how I can get there. The only thing I know for sure is that the road to long-term blogging doesn’t involve burning my blog to the ground after four years.
My issue in blogging is that I’m feeling more guarded about myself and less willing to share what’s been going on in my life. As you may have guessed from this post, David and I split up. Paperwork aside, the marriage ended in April, and for a lot of reasons, I’ve chosen not to talk about it here. Partly due to out of respect for that relationship, and partly because I’m still processing everything that happened. Needless to say, my life is very different than it was a year ago. But I’m really loving my life in Austin and I’m very excited for the changes in my life, including a very lovely boyfriend.
Keeping that information to myself is mostly what’s been holding me back from writing here. It’s easy to share the good things and really fucking hard to share the difficult things. But I’ve always believed that blogging is about conversations and sharing both the easy and hard parts of life. When I started writing online 15 years ago, that’s what I believed and I still believe in that now.