It would be a lie to say I’ve always been comfortable going out by myself. Truth is, it took years to be fine with shrugging my shoulders and accepting that I may very well end up at a party or concert where I didn’t know a soul. I do simple daily things alone: I take the train to work, grocery shop, and watch bad reality T.V. I’m sure a lot of you do the same. Yet when it comes to parties, concerts and events, the thought of going alone can strike fear in the heart of even the bravest and most confident of souls.
My journey to being OK alone commenced when I was a 18-year-old college student living in New York City. I had just moved there from Pennsylvania and felt like entire world was at my fingertips. Concerts, readings, Broadway plays, amazing walks around the city. Yet every time I made plans with new friends, they bailed on me. One afternoon, fed up with flakey friends, I marched up to a ticket counter to buy a last minute ticket to a Tori Amos concert that same night. Since I only needed one ticket, I ended up with a front row seat.
I was the universe was sending me a sign: Be fine being by yourself and good things will follow.
After that, I decided not to limit my experiences based on who was or wasn’t available on any given night. This is not to say it wasn’t scary, because sometimes it was, but what I am saying is that it was worth it. I feel lucky in a way that New York taught me the lesson of being adventurous at such a young age, but the truth is, it’s never too late to learn how to go places alone.
What do you think? Do you like to go to parties or events by yourself? Do you think people are hesitant to go out by themselves?
I’m really glad I stumbled upon this post. It was like I’m reminiscing my own personal experience of living independently and going to places alone. When I was younger I am scared of doing things and going out alone. Maybe I am just used to being dependent that even the smallest chore I still have to ask someone to do it for me that includes asking for water (so brat.. haha) but 3 years ago everything’s changed. I have to move out and work and live independently. By that time the thought of being alone really freaks me out and makes me cry always. I was so scared of the things I know I cannot do alone but then I have conquered that fear and now I’m happy. The good things in me are all result of being alone, that includes my family and I found myself better and stronger person now. And I still enjoy going to parties alone although this past few days I go to parties with some friends.
good job on this blog. you’re great
Thanks Mae!
I’m on the same page as you. At first it was hard to step outside my comfort zone, but once I did, I started doing everything alone. Now that I’m married, I do less alone admittedly, but when it does happen, I’m not afraid. Sometimes I don’t want to go out or my husband doesn’t, and I always realize that, well, just because he doesn’t want to go doesn’t mean I can’t.
I can totally relate! It’s definitely a process of learning to okay with being alone. For me, the older I’ve gotten, the more accepting of it that I am. And in all honestly, I need my alone time.
xx
sue
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I’m with you on your alone time comment! And also, being alone doesn’t always mean you are lonely or want to be lonely. I think there’s something really awesome about being comfortable alone.
I think practice does make perfect in this situation. It doesn’t bother me at all to wander around by myself…and this, coming from someone who used to need a “go-with” person. The nice thing about being alone is the total freedom to do what you want or change your plans on a whim. Debbie
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I totally agree! Practice does make perfect, and the more you do it, the less awkward it feels. There’s a lot to be said for being OK being alone. And, also, a lot to be said for being with others, too.
That is awesome that you like going out by yourself. I used to love going to the beach by myself and totally wouldn’t mind catching a movie or going to a museum alone (I have no patience for flaky friends either!). Now with the baby, I definitely don’t mind going anywhere alone! I enjoy the peace and quiet! LOL
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Amen to that! I think it’s important to get use to it. You always miss it when it’s gone.